Ventura Confirms: Obama NOT a Lizard!

….Probably not, anyway.

If you have been too caught up in the drivel being broadcast by major news networks since Tuesday night, you may have missed the really momentous stuff.  Specifically, you may have missed the fact that TruTV has picked up Governor Jesse Ventura’s reality show, Conspiracy Theory,  for its second season. Wednesday, November 7th was the first installment.

In this episode, Jesse and his crack investigatory team tackled the Reptilian Conspiracy, which is basically the idea that the ruling classes in most countries, including the United States, are dominated by a race of shape-shifting, blood-drinking,  6 ft. tall lizard people from another dimension. No, really. If I was making this up, I’d try for some modicum of plausibility, trust me.

Trending: US Intel Chief: Islamic Terror Threat Biggest in History

Also, as a new twist this season, Ventura’s son has been made part of the investigators. The same is also true of a son of Oliver Stone. In the most revealing portion of this episode, we learn that Son of Stone has his own personal Psychic Friends network, including one particular whacko-babe who is convinced that she’s a lesbian from another planet.

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Video of many American leaders was analyzed for signs of lizard shape-shifting during the delivery of speeches. Apparently, that’s a good time to catch these reptilians, while they’re in front of large crowds, being televised. That’s when they’re likely to slip up and accidentally allow their eyes to go all snake-like. Suspects included both George Bushes, Hillary Clinton, and our own dear leader himself, Mr. Obama. I must admit that at one point, Hillary really did look ghastly, but I think we must conclude that’s rather normal.

It was touch-and-go there for a moment, but the Governor ended the program with a monologue in which he assured us that our leaders are merely human. Whew! Dodged a bullet there, we did.

Actually, full disclosure here, I’ve got Conspiracy Theory set to record to my DVR. I confess that I love the show. I don’t believe every conspiracy theory that’s come down the pike, but the ones I do believe, Ventura’s  done a surprisingly good job of presenting the evidence for them.  I hope at some point he investigates whether our leaders are demon-possessed; or, the gender of Rachel Maddow; or, if he/she is the same person as John Boehner.  I got my popcorn ready.

If you could use a few hours of escape from the dark news of the week, check this out: Kindle readers can now pick up a copy of the highly-rated, Christian military thriller, Prowl, for 75% off the retail paperback price.

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