If the Seattle Seahawks Were the Republican Party

UPDATE: Okay. Now that we know the outcome, the following sounds a bit absurd, but the moral of the story remains.

Imagine if you will, it is the day after the Super Bowl. Oh, that’s right, it is. Now imagine that the Broncos beat the Seahawks rather handily. Hopefully that will not actually happen. Go Seahawks!

The scene is set for the morning after press conferences. And now let’s hear what some of the games losers had to say. We take you now to the Seattle Seahawks. First up – Coach Pete Carroll. “Thank you all for being here. I have a short prepared statement and will take no questions. First, I don’t think Coach Fox of the Broncos played by the rules. Second, it was the decision of me and my coaching staff not to fight hard in this game. That’s not what the American people wanted to see. We thought it more important to compromise with the Broncos staff and allow them score at will. But I say here and now. Wait until the next time we meet. We will surely make a stand and win the game. Thank you.”

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“Um… Okay. Next up – the always outspoken Seahawks cornerback – Richard Sherman.”

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“Thank you. I too have a prepared statement and will take no questions. The Broncos were relentless in all phases of the game. Their running backs ran too hard. They didn’t allow us to tackle them. Their receivers ran their routes too precisely. They didn’t even let us cover them and that Peyton Manning guy; he was too good – never once allowing us to sack him or intercept him. Personally, I blame the Broncos for this loss and … our equipment manager. I blame him to. He and the Broncos were the reasons we lost the game. I even saw a post-game poll that said it was the equipment manager’s fault we lost. But you wait. Next time, we will own them. You’ll see.”

I wrote this prior to “the big game,” so at the time I have no idea the outcome, or much care due to a lack of Patriots participation.

However, could you imagine a press conference where the losing team simply blames the other team for all its woes? Or blame a team or staff member who is not in a leadership position? Basically saying it was the fault of everyone and everything but us?

Well, in this fictional tale, we all know the Seahawks are the “Republicans.” Pete Carroll is little Johnny Boehner, our spineless leader. It’s always the next fight where we will make our stand.

Richard Sherman, of course, embodies the entire establishment class of the Republican Party, elected officials, pundits, consultants and donors.

Never do what’s right. Always do what the phony polls tell us, and react to them accordingly, and never blame ourselves for being spineless and inept. It’s always the fault of the evil Democrats and the Tea Party.

Well, maybe it’s high time we stopped blaming the Democrats for everything. We know they’re evil. It’s not going to get any better with them in charge. We can’t change them.

We can however, change the Republican Party. We can and must rid ourselves of every spineless, backstabbing establishment type.

Every congressman is up for reelection this year. This is the year we conservatives can begin to take it back. Forget about the Democrats and pledge, like I will, to never again hold your nose and pull the lever for another loser Republican – regardless of the “stated” consequence.

I will stay home before I vote for another Judas Republican.

We find our country and Constitution on the verge of ruin because we’ve allowed it, not because of Democrats. For decades we have bought the “hold your nose and pull the lever”, or the “He’s the only one who can win” argument – that any Republican is better than the Democrat.

That may have been true long ago, but no more. Pledge with me now to never again pull the lever for a Republican who will sell us out for 30 pieces of silver.

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