Legalize All Drugs – Save the World

All of a sudden, it seems, the push to legalize marijuana has gone into hyper speed, or maybe ludicrous speed (a little tip of the hat to one of my favorite comedies, Spaceballs).

It seems State after State is legalizing its use in some form or another – for either medicinal or recreational use, or both. Before long it will become legalized throughout the U.S. and then the party can really begin.

Just think of the benefits. Companies, like the recently sainted CVS pharmacy chain will benefit. They announced that as of October 2014, the chain store will no longer sell tobacco products at any of their locations. They claim tobacco has no place in a pharmacy. It’s a private company. They have every right to make such policies.

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So far, there is no word of whether they will also be removing the beer and wine – whether or not they will remove all the high sugar candies, sodas and energy drinks, or the high fat and salt snack foods, or the 760 different types of condoms (that’s just an estimate).

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Now, with all those evil tobacco products gone, they will have plenty of empty space behind the counter. Perhaps they can fill the void with a tasteful selection of marijuana. Although, if they did that, they could hardly get rid of the junk food.

They may have to set up a microwave to heat up a variety of Hispanic fast foods kept in the freezer case nearby.

It seems a win-win for CVS, despite the fact that marijuana is rolled like a cigarette, lit like one, smoked and inhaled like a cigarette, pot is not inherently evil like cigarettes. That is until Big Tobacco starts mass producing it. Then the leftists will have a quandary on their hands.

There is another, yet undiscussed great benefit to legalizing marijuana, as well as other drugs. One that has not received a lot of press – but should and probably will in the near future.

A cause that is tailor-made for the radical left, the potheads, the druggies or any combination thereof.

It seems, at least according to the well-respected group “ClimateProgress,” a division of not at all radical “ThinkProgress,” legalizing drugs also combats global warming. “Who’d a thunk it?”

Here’s what happens. Because we won’t allow huge fields of marijuana and coca plants to grow in the United States, the plants must be grown elsewhere. We’re so close minded.

So the forests in Central and South America are cut down to grow the drugs. Then the authorities, in an effort called “The War on Drugs,” come in and spray the illegal crops to kill them. In doing so, the spray also kills other plants. So far so good, or bad, right?

Well, what do plants do? Of course, they turn CO2 to oxygen. And we all know, at least the enlightened, that carbon dioxide causes global warming (which it doesn’t).

Now, to further compound the problem, some illegal drug bearing plants must be grown indoors, away from the prying eyes of Johnny law. This requires the use of grow lamps and lots of them. And lamps require… that’s right… electricity. And electricity is supplied by burning… why of course… fossil fuels. Burning fossil fuels generates more greenhouse gases and voilà – global warming. Are you getting it?

The logic is irrefutable! And did I forget to mention the science was settled?

So if we just legalize all drugs, get rid of cigarettes, we can save the planet.

Maybe that’s what the misunderstood Philip Seymour Hoffman was trying to do? He took his own life, martyred himself, all in the cause of fighting global warming.

It makes as much sense as anything else in this article.

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