I love my country, but sometimes I have a hard time trying to figure out why. I have tried so hard to defend her when in actuality my entire life was one experience of corruption after another. Of course, I understand today that our nation was founded on the idea that liberty and prosperity would flourish with a population of morally sound people. The fact that freedom cannot exist without morality is a truth that I have come to understand very well. America, therein lays the problem. We have become a nation of morally bankrupt souls who have forgotten what it means to be human beings.

3613524-3x2-940x627Sometimes I beat myself up over this whole idea of our nation being divided into groups of liberals and groups of conservatives. While I can never jump on board the choo choo train of liberalism because of my understanding of the roots of their beliefs; sometimes I have to admit, they make a few good points. It’s just a shame they don’t understand that their policies do more to enslave than they do to empower.

It’s equally shameful that conservatives don’t see that people can become so career driven and so focused on achieving their goals that they will, in the cut throat environment of today’s market place, step on anyone who gets in their way. I know this because I have been the one who continually gets stepped on. It’s easy for me to understand, even though I believe it’s foolish and destructive of man's nature, why an individual would believe that everyone should get a trophy so no one’s feelings are hurt. I can say this because I am the one who has always lost; I am the one who is always left with hurt feelings. By all rights, going off my life experience, it’s a wonder I am not an Obama liberal out there singing to the tune of capitalism's destruction. The thing that separates me from them is my belief in God, the freewill he has blessed us with and my ability to look at history and make a judgment for myself.

I find myself asking why I am the one who always loses, why I am the one who always has to deal with failure. While in the Marine Corps, for instance, I was the only one in my company who had entered around the same time who had not been promoted to the rank of Corporal. Why? Was I a bad marine? No, throughout my entire four years of service in the Marines, I had no disciplinary punishment, I was never late and I could run and ruck march with the best of them. Marines who had been in trouble for drinking and various other things got promoted. Why not me? I questioned immorality, that’s why. In fact, I went to my First Sergeant after exhausting all other efforts and told him my squad leader was a drunk, who encouraged drinking among the younger Marines to the extent they enjoyed smashing the barracks furniture together.

Some people reading this may think I am a rat, or a narc or someone who goes against the grain. How about someone who simply didn’t drink and because of this I was rejected by the rest of my squad? The truth is the Marine Corps promoted me to the rank of Corporal, but because I never got into any trouble this is the only explanation as to why it was never pinned on me. My First Sergeant loved my squad leader. The point is that I was the one who stood and said what was right. Non-commissioned officers are not supposed to drink with lower enlisted personnel. What does standing up and saying what is right in the military get you? Ask the people who were afraid to question illegal orders at Abu Ghraib prison.

Our society has become so corrupted by evil and greed that people are literally afraid to stand up and say what needs to be said. “Silence in the face of evil is condoning evil” are words that mean nothing as we have all become so enslaved to a system that if it were to chose to reject us we either go on the government dole or we lose everything we ever had. The argument could be made of course that our system rewards personal responsibility and initiative. This is what we, who call ourselves conservatives, choose to believe, but the truth is that personal responsibility means doing what is right. Personal responsibility means standing up for truth and righteousness and this is what people will fail to do if they perceive that their job may be on the line. I have stood for what is right far too many times only to see those who could come to my defense cower in fear of losing their job. You can’t blame them of course, but this equates to nothing but serfdom. How many times can I look back and admit that if I had only kept my mouth shut my life would be different? Honestly, as I presently fear what tomorrow brings, I do not regret the fact that I stood for truth in the face of lies. That should count for something, shouldn’t it?

Fear to exercise our freewill in the face of rejection, in the face of not being able to care for yourself and your family is not freedom. Sadly, for every day the majority of us remain silent is another day of tyranny we have earned. On the other hand, people who do not rock the boat are not worried about what tomorrow may bring, so maybe I am just a fool.

It is very difficult for me to continue defending this system because I have once again been stepped on by the liars, by the deceitful, by those blinded by their own self importance as they compete for their little promotions, which in the end will mean nothing if their souls are not right; people that have proven themselves to be incapable of teaching another human being what they themselves needed to learn in order to be successful. Sometimes great success brings one only to arrogance and narcissism.

They say that here in Oklahoma we are the last bastion of conservatism. Oklahoma is smack dab in the middle of the Bible belt after all. Christians here are hypocrites and Oklahoma’s government is corrupt to its core. I have witnessed some of the most rampant corruption you can imagine within the agencies of Oklahoma’s state government only to realize that there is nowhere to turn for help, only to realize the foolishness of believing that only liberals are corrupt. It’s the heart of man that has become corrupt and until we remember that we are all human beings who deserve to be treated with dignity and the very least given an honest opportunity to prove our worth we will continue to fall further and further into the darkness.

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