Same-Sex “Marriage” – Apples, Oranges & Oxymorons


GayBoyOur State of North Carolina held its primary back on May 8th. On the ballot is a referendum stating that marriage between one man and one woman will be the only marriage recognized by North Carolina. An Amendment to our State Constitution now states just that. Many states have already put this restriction into their Constitutions and several others have state laws that ban same-sex “marriage.” Locally, the homosexuals and liberals are kicking up a huge stink because a County Commissioner has proposed a resolution in our county to support the Amendment to our State Constitution. The LGBT lobbyists are geared up to protest….”Oh, the injustice of it all!”

Well, we would not be discussing this except for socialist government interference in personal business. I have Libertarian friends who, while they don’t like the idea of gay marriage, can’t think of a Constitutional reason to deny gays “marriage.” Because the Constitution does not specifically address marriage, they think we should just stay out of it and let them have marriage. I disagree.

Before I go further, I wish to clue you into my thinking. I am a Christian, a traditionalist, a married woman, mother of two children, divorced once, and committed to my family’s best interest. I have no hate or bigotry against gays or other anomalies of gender, but at the same time, I don’t celebrate them either. I frankly don’t care what is done in someone’s private bedroom (assuming consenting adults) and have no interest in regulating that beyond the protection of innocents. So my interest has nothing to do with inserting my beliefs into someone else’s life other than recognizing the sky is the sky and marriage is between one man and one woman.

However, while I am not attempting to insert my views into their personal decisions, the LGBT factions wish to insert their beliefs into my life by co-opting the definition of marriage. Their desire is to bend definitions of a cultural and natural institution that will, with a doubt, confuse children and cause more chaos in our culture. If marriage is nothing more than a civil government contract, then you can assume that a contract can be made between several or any individuals who wish to call their relationships “marriage.” If marriage is a religious sacrament, ordained by Our Creator, the question is settled. Game over. The traditional definition of marriage is by nature, both literally and figuratively, exclusive. But, even if it were just a civil contract, the reasons for keeping that exclusivity are many.

The secular reasons have to do with cultural morés, psychological influences on children, keeping the population healthy, providing familial protection for children, genealogical respect for inheritances, etc. Financial reasons also exist. Illegitimacy rates increase exponentially. (for those who like to think that homosexual marriage has no effect on heterosexual marriage customs.) Statistical information can be found here.

No amount of factual information will convince the LGBT proponents they should not have what they want but cannot have, i.e. the kind of marriage between a man a woman created through nature and culture. I don’t believe we should even be having this discussion. The entire premise is a travesty as far as I can tell from logical and Biblical perspectives both.

The government we are suffering through today wishes to replace the family with government. They can’t do it. A government cannot replace the male and female parents of children or teach the bonds therein. Yet, cradle to the grave government is what we are seeing manifest itself. So why not homosexula “marriage?” Why not polygamy? Why not all sorts of gender bending other options? As long as government is becoming the parents, who needs biological parents? And no, I don’t believe marriage is only for procreation, but I do believe that marriage exists for two opposite sex participants.

Orthodoxy Today presents a view of marriage regarding the feminine identity:

(The very word “marriage” comes from the Latin word for mother, mater.) It exists for the gathering-in of a woman’s sexuality under the protective net of the human or divine order, or both.

WHY SHOULD I not be able to marry a man? The question addresses a class of human phenomena that can be described in sentences but nonetheless cannot be. However much I might wish to, I cannot be a father to a pebble–I cannot be a brother to a puppy–I cannot make my horse my consul. Just so, I cannot, and should not be able to, marry a man. If I want to be a brother to a puppy, are you abridging my rights by not permitting it? I may say what I please; saying it does not mean that it can be.

In a gay marriage, one of two men must play the woman, or one of two women must play the man. “Play” here means travesty–burlesque. Not that their love is a travesty; but their participation in a ceremony that apes the marriage bond, with all that goes into it, is a travesty. Their taking-over of the form of this crucial and fragile connection of opposites is a travesty of marriage’s purpose of protecting, actually and symbolically, the woman who enters into marriage with a man. To burlesque that purpose weakens those protections, and is essentially and profoundly anti-female.

If you recognize homosexual coupling as described in that quote, as it is actually, you might wonder what gay marriage does to the standing of women in society. I would say it diminishes the standing of women with regard to natural law. Absolutely.

But isn’t that the point? The legal standing of natural law is what is being shredded in the instance of homosexual “marriage.” Natural law is the basis for Jefferson’s assertions in the Declaration of Independence.

“Nature has written her moral laws on the head and heart of every rational and honest man, where man may read them for himself. If ever you are about to say anything amiss, or to do anything wrong, consider beforehand you will feel something within you which will tell you it is wrong, and ought not to be said or done. This is your conscience, and be sure and obey it… Conscience is the only sure clue which will eternally guide a man clear of all his doubts and inconsistencies.” Thomas Jefferson

Again, I would rather not be having this discussion. It’s ridiculous on its face, and greatly damaging in all aspects to our society. The socialists in our government have been trying to rid our nation of our common natural law since the Progressive movement started over 100 years ago. This is but one more evidence of that. Gay marriage is not a right that can be given by a socialist government. Our rights don’t come from government. It is nothing more than another tool to take down our natural rights as given by Our Creator as stated by Jefferson in the Declaration. But even if you don’t subscribe to that substantiation, you can see there are many other considerations making gay marriage a very bad idea.

Other sources:
Pew Research on Religion and Family Life

In August 2010 The Pew Research Center for the People & the Press and the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life conducted their annual “Religion and the Issues: Results from the 2010 Annual Religion and Public Life Survey.” The survey revealed that only 35% of the population considers religion the main influence on their opinion about same-sex marriage. Of this number, 60% are opposed to same-sex marriage. That means only 21% of the population is opposed to same-sex marriage primarily on religious grounds. The other 27% of the population that is opposed to same-sex marriage is opposed to same-sex marriage primarily on other grounds such as education, personal experience, and the views of family and friends. Put another way, the majority of those who are opposed to same-sex marriage are motivated primarily by reasons other than religion.

Orthodoxy Today

“The laws of marriage do not create marriage, but in societies ruled by law they help trace the boundaries and sustain the public meanings of marriage. . . . Without this shared, public aspect, perpetuated generation after generation, marriage becomes what its critics say it is: a mere contract, a vessel with no particular content, one of a menu of sexual lifestyles, of no fundamental importance to anyone outside a given relationship.”

Gulag Bound

“If marriage is simply a business arrangement, subject to regulations, then the products of the business are also open to inspection and regulation, correct? So the government can regulate your children? Is this where family social service agencies get their authority to go into a home and confiscate the children, when any unproven accusation is made?

Is this why schools can decree that all children will be taught about sex, beginning in kindergarten, and that “no parental option to decline is allowed”? Or the school staff can take a young woman from her school to an abortion clinic and never inform the parents that she was even pregnant?”

Orthodoxy Today

‘We do know, however, that it would radically change the customs, laws, and moral expectations embedded in millennia of human experience. Marriage and family law reflect the historically cumulative complexities of necessarily public concerns about property, inheritance, legal liability, and the legitimacy of children–the latter entailing a host of responsibilities for which parents, and especially men, can be held accountable.”



  • http://www.facebook.com/aaronprust Aaron Prust

    You say that religion is not the reason people have for being against gay marriage but it’s the reason you fall back to throughout your entire post.

    We can’t base our laws on religion because there is too much diversity in opinion on religious beliefs. Do you claim to know the mind or heart of God better than anyone else?

  • gluco30

    An acquaintance of mine decided that if gays and lesbians are allowed to legally marry, then he wants to be allowed to practice polygamy and legally marry 4 women. He was just using it as “push back” to see how the proponents for gay and lesbian marriage that he knows would react to it.
    Another friend who works in the retail business told me that several of their gay customers have been discussing their desire to have the legal age limit abolished because there are so many handsome young boys they would like to be able to “get at” without taking a chance on being prosecuted as pedophiles. How would you like them to be discussing your son in that manner and with those foul intentions?
    It seems that people are trying to find a way to justify whatever actions they desire to take, regardless of how vile or depraved they are. Our laws sometimes are the only barrier to an out of control and anything goes world. They have figured out that the solution is to change our existing laws to accomodate whatever it is they desire to do. In their eyes, that will make their actions acceptable and justifiable, and they will be accepted in society, free to operate on their desires, and free of any threat of punishment for their actions. The boundaries will be pushed further and further as time goes on.
    The instruction and structure in our Bible is there for our own good. God wants the best for us and ‘his burden is light and his yoke is easy,” if we live according to Gods word. I have found this to be true throughout every day of my existence and I am so grateful for the gift of salvation through Christ.
    You can love the sinner, but hate the sin. That does not mean that you have to endorse or encourage the sin by changing the laws to enable him further.

    • Irony

      Actually, if you are using biblical generalities, the marrying of multiple women or polygamy was just fine. In fact, one of the “wisest men” described in the bible had more than 700 wives and 300 more women in his concubines. The practice began in documented biblical history roughly 4 generations down from Adam and has been fairly common in many cultures ever since. Now of course, these shenanigans are all associated with the Old Testament, so if you claim to be a follower of Christ, then you can stick with the traditional Christian view of marriage which “cleaves together a man and a woman as one flesh.” However, in doing so, you lose all of the “abomination” labels associated with homosexuality – as the only thing Jesus found to be an “abomination to God” was the love of money. The only other time the word is used in the New Testament was by John in the book of Revelation; assumingly speaking of people who practice the love of money in some way, shape, or form. Additionally, as I have mentioned before, if you go New Testament style, then you lose the ability to divorce.

  • Evermyrtle

    I think, I would like to see written in a book all of the anti-GOD laws and acts, the changes made in the school system that has come to pass in the last four years. One of the things that impresses me most the audacity in the act of an attempt of throwing GOD off of the Democratic platform in NC and them try to drag HIM back on.This shows me exactly how GOD is regarded by the anti-GODS. They think they have a right and can do this. They could not possibly be more wrong. GOD left all on HIS own and to get HIM back they will have to do a 180 degree turn around from the bottom tot he top, no exceptions..

  • Irony

    Divorced and writing an article about the sanctity of marriage; ironic

    • DontTreadOnMyLiberty

      I couldn’t agree more.
      Marriage vows include the clause “until death do us part”. Ms. Pass’
      pontification is pure hypocrisy and completely distasteful in my opinion.

  • Irony

    As a Christian, you must hold to the belief that Christ was the fulfillment of the law and that the rules or traditions outlined under Mosaic law no longer apply (otherwise we had better get back to stoning disobedient children to death). This takes away the ability to divorce as Moses had previously allowed under specific conditions. If you are going to play the sanctity of marriage card based on religious beliefs and ignore the separation of church and state to allow such unions, then you should be calling for the outlaw of divorce with equal passion (which most people are quite comfortable with Government regulating) otherwise you might wind up sounding like a complete hypocrite by advocating for the sanctity of marriage while supporting divorce

    • DontTreadOnMyLiberty

      Well written!

  • IJ in Alabama

    You seem to be putting all your information on sex, not Love, What GOD do you worship?

  • jjraccoon

    Cheryl, you forgot to state WHY it is not in the Constitution: The Consitution was based upon the Bible (which they also try to destroy), which had already stated what a marriage is. That is the true object LGBT folks want to destroy.

    • Irony

      The Constitution was NOT “based” on the bible – I’m not even sure what that means. Try reading both documents in their entirety as well as the religious writings that were left out of the actual cannon during the very political Council of Nicaea. You will see that one of the main reasons for creating a Constitution was to protect the masses and the individual from persecution from zealots who would use religion as they always have to infringe upon the rights of others.

  • samish

    The studies that you cite are very out dated and do not hold up to critical review.

  • mathis1689

    Very well written and I appreciate the time and effort that was put into it. Ultimately the issue is who is God? Is it God as He is revealed in the Holy Bible or is it man? Homosexuality is in a very real sense an expression of man’s desire to be his own god and in that regard it is no different from any other sin. Homosexuals and lesbians can claim whatever excuse they like but when it gets down to the nitty gritty they simply want to do as they please without anyone telling them no-God included. The only problem with that is that God will not be mocked and barring repentance and faith in Jesus Christ not just homosexuals and lesbians but all sinners will find that out the hard way.

    • Bob Marshall

      “Indeed, i tremble for my country when i reflect that God is just.” Thomas Jefferson.

    • Evermyrtle

      You are right, when GOD decides to act, the picture will not please any of the people who are trying to shove HIM out of the way. I am “CHILD OF GOD” and am not worried for myself, because of my faith in HIM, but I am concerned about the country.

    • jammin

      Disagree, YOU are playing God here speaking as if you know “His” entire plan. No wonder so many people are turning away from the Bible. In the end all you’re doing is alienating a good percentage of our population. Good people, who just want to live a “normal” life. I know many (they are my friends) gays and lesbians. All are educated, bright and as normal as you and me. many much smarter than I am! God and Jesus forgave sinners, remember? Oh and go ahead preserve the word “marriage”, but gays should be able to legally “tie the knot”. Perhaps a new work “garriage”.

    • Evermyrtle

      Basicly GOD’S children do know what wiil happen. we do not know the details nor the time appointed but if you will read and study HIS WORD, you will see, It is all written there. The WORD states that JESUS said not even “THE SON OF MAN” knows that day or hour, but it does tell of all that will be occuring in the last days. Some of the places that you can find it reccorded in Matt. 24, Mark 13, Luke 17 and 21, II Tim 3:1-7. This is only a few of the scriptures relating to the end days.

    • Pat

      How can they be normal if they commit homosexual acts?

    • mathis1689

      For me to know God’s entire plan would mean being God myself and since God is by definition infinite and I’m not then neither I not anyone can fully understand all of who and what God is and does. That doesn’t mean that what God has revealed is beyond our understanding. Revelation 21:8 and 22:15 describe the ultimate fate of all who love and practice a lie. Romans 1:26-27 describe homosexuality and lesbianism as being against God’s natural order of things-in other words as a lie against nature. If people choose to reject what the Word of God says then I can’t help that. The truth has never been popular and as long as people reject what God says then it won’t be. As far as alienating a good percentage of the population goes I’m sorry if they turn away from God. That’s where the alienation comes in. And God does forgive sinners of all kinds but He saves them FROM their sins,NOT so they can continue IN them

    • Evermyrtle

      As long as you are not walking on the rights of others and you can do as you please in your home, why do you demand a law, a license to anything that your want to do. Producing drugs or rape, it is nobody’s business, so why do these people want laws passed to make the evil legal. We have in the last four years have laws passed to commit beastility, homosexual laws, and I can’t begin to number all of the anti-GOD laws that hae been passed. Why do we have so much friction about these issues. To make laws to condone them is doing much more harm that good, no good come because of said laws for them but but, in GOD’S eyes we are committing evil which will go against the country, in the long run.
      Now, there is a fact that we must consider, it makes no difference, what we think or what we do ,GOD will not change HIS mind about it nor is HE leaving the countryn nor does it make HIM any less powerful. We should know tht it all is in HIS hands and HE will allow this evil only so long and thenHE will act. and the evil ones will not like what HE will do..